Editor's note: Although about 1 in 7 women in the United States report experiencing chronic pelvic pain, the causes often go undiagnosed. Surveys indicate that about 15% of working women lose time from their jobs because of pelvic pain, and nearly half say it adversely affects their productivity.
I had to throw my two cents in after reading Woods' response. There are many over-the-counter drugs patients shouldn't take if they have certain medical conditions and should consult a doctor prior, but the main retort I wanted to make was against the lines, "Plus, if you do not make them accountable for their annual exams by the pill prescription expiring, then you have another issue of missed Pap smears, thus more cervical cancer."
That's disgusting reasoning. It's okay to ransom birth control pills to make women go to exams? What about men and prostate exams? Should doctors withhold Viagra, high blood pressure medications, or anything of the like to "hold them accountable"? How about dentists? Should we hold other medications for ransom to make sure everyone gets their teeth checked? We're all adults here, please treat us like one and let us make our own informed decisions. A pap smear is unnecessary to obtain birth control, you are not told about the high incidence of abnormal results that resolve spontaneously, negative biopsies and colposcopies, and the pros and cons in general of this exam. Not to mention, on top of it all, the medication is withheld until a woman complies to the doctors demands. How is this informed consent?
As of March the ACOG also said annual Paps are unnecessary [http://www.acog.org/About%20ACOG/Announcements/New%20Cervical%20Cancer%20Screening%20Recommendations.aspx]. I for one would like to follow the guidelines and have one every 1 to 3 years based on my personal sexual history until I reach the age of 30 and then follow the recommendations for that age. Such decisions should take place through a discussion with your doctor about your own personal needs and medical history rather than a dictatorship that uses a one-size-fits-all approach. I've had college friends go without the pill due to their fear of the exam and end up pregnant. Women who have been abused in the past also may have great difficulty in going through with the exam, and many young teens opt to go without the pill due to their own fears of the exam. Friends in other states have never heard of the practice we have here of requiring a pelvic exam to get the pill and are shocked when I tell them about it.
Oh, and to finalize my viewpoint on this.. there are already ways around the annual exam while still obtaining the pill. Planned Parenthood runs a program called HOPE which provides the pill with no exam necessary. Likewise, just like with Viagra (and not recommended, but I'm throwing it out there anyway), the pill can be ordered legally from the internet with no hassle. I still see my doctor, but that is
"My grandmother was a nurse during the first half of the 20th century. She told me quite a few stories about being a woman in America during that time. She told me about being in nursing school and having the head nurse conduct evening meetings to quietly amend textbooks chosen by the male dean and board of regents. She gave me one of the medical book with the carefully lined through passages with penciled in corrections. As an adult I checked all of the corrections made by the head nurse regarding pre-natal and post-natal care of women and children. They were accurate and in use today. Grandma told me that men could not be countermanded and that doing so was as foolish as tilting with a windmill. In her day, women of knowledge and conviction simply worked around them as best they could for the most part or made changes through them. She gave me an example of a very powerful and influential obstetrics doctor she had the misfortune to work under in 1908 as a young nurse in school. He refused to use a solution of carbolic acid to cleanse his hands between post-delivery internal examinations of his patients (he was old school). He had a very high mortality rate among his patients as a result, she observed. She and the other nurses would systematically hide as many of his patient from him as they would during his rounds. Outrage and determination filled her voice while discussing it, even after 60 years. She told me of a number of cases of women forced to seek illegal abortions out of fear and desperation, living children that couldn’t be fed with health issues that couldn’t be addressed, and husbands that had died or deserted their families. She told me of other nurses and doctors that she knew that chose to perform illegal abortions on kitchen tables. She told me details on the countless cases of women she had cared for that had died or were “made barren” while attempting to end pregnancies. They were even beaten or shamed and ostracized from communities. I asked her if she had ever performed an abortion. She told me about a neighbor in the 1930’s that had sent one of her six children to my grandmother’s house one evening to fetch her. My grandmother found the woman in her bathtub covered by a blood soaked robe. The neighbor was weak and crying that her husband John was threatening to leave her and that she had had NO CHOICE. When she pulled the robe back, grandma found a coat hanger entangled in a towel partially bunched between the woman’s thighs along with perforated intestines that were distending from the woman’s vagina. You don’t need the gory details and this is not an uncommon occurrence in the 20th century. The woman survived. My grandmother ended the story with a recounting of how she had fixed the the little red wagon of the husband, John. She never suffered fools gladly and had balls of steal as did many women of her generation. I admired and was comforted by that as a child. She was pro-choice and pro-contraception without restrictions. She said that eventually the ERA would be passes because women and men of reason and compassion would prevail – but sadly, she feared, not in her day. She crossed over in 1978." -- Crystal Beach, FL, Behavior AnalystI would have to drive two hours every time I need a refill of birth control (hard for an ICer, not to mention we need the hormones regardless of sexual activity or not -- most of us have problems having sex but according to certain people we're all sluts for just having this disease)or else face non-consensual, coerced, uninformed vaginal probing. Even if results came back abnormal for a year, I would do nothing about it for three years, the recommended screening schedule, and so THERE IS NO POINT, but my GP would still force it. I can't really get a straight answer on if annual exams are needed when you have IC. I know its generally a good idea, but I'm already sick, it hurts, and I've only had one sexual partner in my life (but don't worry, evidently I'm still a slut). My friends in California are shocked by this, their general practitioners don't do this there. So much difference from state-to-state. We're still having barriers to birth control.. we don't even need to look back at those stories, as horrid as they are, because we're still struggling for access while being able to make our own informed decisions. I also feel this issue is swept under the rug and that's what hurts the most in this women's right movement going on. No one questions their doctor, ever, and as an ICer I know that's the worst route you could ever take for your mental and physical well being. Another story on the site states of how one OB never washed his hands even though nurses begged and he had the highest mortality rate so they had to start hiding patients from him.
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" • The pathophysiology of lower urinary tract symptoms (LUTS), detrusor overactivity (DO), and the overactive bladder (OAB) syndrome is multifactorial and remains poorly understood. • The transient receptor potential (TRP) channel superfamily has been shown to be involved in nociception and mechanosensory transduction in various organ systems, and studies of the LUT have indicated that several TRP channels, including TRPV1, TRPV2, TRPV4, TRPM8, and TRPA1, are expressed in the bladder, and may act as sensors of stretch and/or chemical irritation. • However, the roles of these individual channels for normal LUT function and in LUTS/DO/OAB, have not been established. • TRPV1 is the channel best investigated. It is widely distributed in LUT structures, but despite extensive information on morphology and function in animal models, the role of this channel in normal human bladder function is still controversial. Conversely, its role in the pathophysiology and treatment of particularly neurogenic DO is well established. • TRPV1 is co-expressed with TRPA1, and TRPA1 is known to be present on capsaicin-sensitive primary sensory neurones. Activation of this channel can induce DO in animal models. • TRPV4 is a Ca2+-permeable stretch-activated cation channel, involved in stretch-induced ATP release, and TRPV4-deficient mice exhibit abnormal frequencies of voiding and non-voiding contractions in cystometric experiments. • TRPM8 is a cool receptor expressed in the urothelium and suburothelial sensory fibres. It has been implicated in the bladder-cooling reflex and in idiopathic DO. • The occurrence of other members of the TRP superfamily in the LUT has been reported, but information on their effects on LUT functions is scarce. There seem to be several links between activation of different members of the TRP superfamily and LUTS/DO/OAB, and further exploration of the involvement of these channels in LUT function, normally and in dysfunction, may be rewarding. [ABSTRACT FROM AUTHOR]"
Abstract: Background: The pathophysiology of interstitial cystitis (IC) is unknown. Deficits in urothelial cell layers and autoimmune mechanisms may play a role. Objective: To examine whether immunization of mice with recombinant mouse uroplakin II (rmUPK2), a bladder-specific protein, would provoke an autoimmune response sufficient to create an IC phenotype. Design, setting, and participants: RmUPK2 complementary DNA was generated, transferred into a bacterial expression vector, and the generated protein was purified. Eight-week-old SWXJ female mice were immunized with rmUPK2 protein via subcutaneous injection of 200μg of rmUPK2 protein in 200μl of an emulsion. Measurements: Mice were euthanized 5 wk after immunization. Axillary and inguinal lymph node cells were tested for antigen-specific responsiveness and cytokine production, serum isotype antibody titers against rmUPK2 were determined, and gene expression of inflammatory mediators was measured in the bladder and other organs. For functional analysis, mice were placed in urodynamic chambers for 24-h micturition frequency and total voided urine measurements. Results and limitations: Immunization with rmUPK2 resulted in T-cell infiltration of the bladder urothelium and increased rmUPK2-specific serum antibody responses in the experimental autoimmune cystitis (EAC) mice models compared with controls. The ratio of bladder to body weight was increased in EAC mice. Quantitative reverse transcriptase polymerase chain reaction analysis showed elevated gene expression of tumor necrosis factor α, interferon γ, interleukin (IL)-17A, and IL-1β in bladder urothelium but not in other organs. Evaluation of 24-h micturition habits of EAC mice showed significantly increased urinary frequency (p 0.02) and significantly decreased urine output per void (p 0.021) when compared with control mice. Conclusions: Our study showed that a bladder-specific autoimmune response sufficient to induce inflammation and EAC occurs in mice following immunization with rmUPK2. EAC mice displayed significant evidence of urinary frequency and decreased urine output per void. Further phenotype characterization of EAC mice should include evidence for pain and/or afferent hypersensitivity, and evidence of urothelial cell layer damage. [Copyright &y& Elsevier]
Elimination of intravascular and tissue gas bubbles, which trigger coagulopathy and other mechanisms in the complex diving disorder, decompression sickness.
Restoration of CNS perfusion by compression of intravascular gas emboli in pulmonary over-pressure diving accidents or iatrogenic intravascular gas embolism.
Increased partial pressure of oxygen (tension) which increases the amount of oxygen dissolved in plasma. This can increase oxygen levels to approximately 450 mmHg at the tissue level.
The effects of increased oxygen tensions are seen in a variety of different situations:
Vasoconstriction and reduction of edema in the area of trauma. Oxygen tension may be 10 to 20 times that achieved by normobaric oxygen breathing.
Rapid dissociation of carbon monoxide molecules from hemoglobin and cytochrome A3 oxidase (23 minutes at 3 ATA) as well as greatly improved delivery of dissolved oxygen in the plasma.
Stimulation of growth and occurrence of fibroblasts, osteoclasts and granulocytes, resulting in wound healing. The resulting angiogenesis enhances healing skin grafts, select problem wounds and compromised flaps.
Cessation of alpha toxin production by the clostridial organisms in gas gangrene.
Background
There is no confirmed strategy for treating painful bladder syndrome/interstitial cystitis (PBS/IC) with unclear etiology. Therefore, a pilot study was carried out to evaluate the efficacy and safety of hyperbaric oxygen (HBO) therapy in treatment-resistant PBS/IC patients.
Methods
HBO treatment (2.0 ATA for 60 minutes/day × 5 days/week for 2 or 4 weeks) was performed on 11 patients with severe symptoms that had not been improved by previous therapy regimens between December 2004 and July 2009.
Results
Seven of the 11 patients demonstrated persistent improvement in symptoms during the 12 months after HBO treatment. These responders demonstrated a decrease in the pelvic pain scale and urgency scale from 7.7 ± 1.0 and, 6.6 ± 0.9 to 3.4 ± 2.5 and 4.3 ± 2.4 after 12 months, respectively (p < 0.05). The total score of the interstitial cystitis symptom index and 24-hour urinary frequency demonstrated a significant sustained decrease from the baseline. Two responders, who received an additional course of HBO 12 and 13 months after initial treatment, respectively, did not suffer impairment for more than two years. There was one case of transient eustachian tube dysfunction and three cases of reversible exudative otitis media as a consequence of HBO treatment.
Conclusions
HBO is a potent treatment for PBS/IC patients resistant to conventional therapy. It was well tolerated and provided maintained amelioration of pain, urgency and urinary frequency for at least 12 months.
Background
Painful bladder syndrome/interstitial cystitis (PBS/IC) is a collective term covering a range of clinical complaints and pathological findings. Approximately 10-50% of PBS/IC patients demonstrate a classical mucosal ulcer (Hunner's ulcer), and the majority are diagnosed on the basis of positive factors and exclusions derived from the diagnostic criteria of the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases for IC [1,2]. The etiology of PBS/IC includes a diversity of factors and remains poorly understood. Therefore, appropriate therapy has not been established from clinical evidence [3-5]. Hyperbaric oxygen (HBO) therapy has been reported to be effective in patients with cyclophosphamide-induced hemorrhagic cystitis and chronic radiation cystitis for approximately 20 years [6-9]. The pathological finding of chronic radiation cystitis is similar to PBS/IC, focusing on ischemia and a reduction in bladder capacity due to fibrosis of the bladder wall [10-12]. On the basis of these findings, a pilot study concerning HBO treatment in several PBS/IC patients whose symptoms had not been improved by other conventional treatments was carried out.
Methods
From December 2004 to July 2009, 11 PBS/IC patients whose symptoms were resistant to conventional therapy were treated with HBO therapy. All patients had undergone conventional treatments including oral medication, intrasvesical instillation of heparin and hydrodistension. The ethical review board of our institute approved the study, and informed consent was obtained from all patients. Patients were treated with HBO (2.0 ATA for 60 minutes/day × 5 days/week for two or four weeks) sequentially after previous hydrodistention. After 10 sessions had been performed, patients were assessed and 10 more sessions were performed in some cases; eight patients underwent 10 sessions and three received 20 sessions (Table 1). In the case of patients with severe urgency or incontinence, pads were worn during treatment sessions. The efficacy of HBO treatment for PBS/IC disease was assessed using the score of O'Leary-Sant IC symptom and problem index (ICSI), comprising eight questions with the ranges of 0-5 and 0-4 with regards to pain and voiding symptoms, respectively, the scales of pelvic pain and urgency using a visual analogue scale (VAS) with the range 0-9, bladder capacity, daily voiding frequency, and endoscopic findings. A responder was defined as a patient with an improvement in ≥ 1 fraction among the total score of ICSI, and the scale of pain or urgency on VAS. The population of two related samples could not be assumed to be normally distributed. Therefore, statistical comparisons were performed using the Wilcoxon signed-rank test for changes from the baseline in the aforementioned parameters. P < 0.05 was considered to denote a statistically significant difference.
Table 1. Characteristics of HBO-treated patients and outcome of HBO
Results
The patients comprised 10 females and one male; the mean age was 60.0 years (range 28-79 years). The PBS/IC diseases in these 11 patients included eight cases of ulcerative type and three of non-ulcerative type, according to intravesical endoscopic findings (Table 1). Patients were followed up for a median period of 14 months (range 3-50 months) after HBO therapy. Seven of the 11 patients were classed as responders. Four patients, who demonstrated no remission or short-term improvement, were considered non-responders. Three of four non-responders had non-ulcerative endoscopic findings (Table 1). At the end of the HBO sessions, seven responders demonstrated a significant improvement in symptoms compared to the pre-treatment baseline (p < 0.05), and had sustained amelioration with mild impairment during the following 12 months (Figure 1). After 12 months, the scales concerning pelvic pain and urgency were still decreased from 7.7 ± 1.0 and 6.6 ± 0.9 to 3.4 ± 2.5 and 4.3 ± 2.4, respectively (p < 0.05). The total score of ICSI decreased from 26.7 ± 7.0 to 18.7 ± 7.4 (p < 0.05), and the 24-hour voiding frequency decreased from 22.4 ± 4.0 to 14.6 ± 2.0 (p < 0.05). Two patients (cases one and two) in the responder group, who had received 20 sessions at the time of the initial report, underwent 10 secondary sessions of HBO treatment 13 and 14 months after initial HBO therapy, respectively. The symptoms in these patients remained stable for more than two years. In addition, cystoscopic examination demonstrated marked granulation of the ulcerative lesion (Figure 2) at the end of HBO treatment in all responders. With regards to adverse events, there was transient eustachian tube dysfunction in one case and reversible exudative otitis media in three cases. However, no patients discontinued HBO treatment because of these side effects.
Discussion
The mechanism of action underlying HBO treatment is attributed to hyper-saturation of the plasma with dissolved oxygen. This gives rise to an increased concentration gradient between the circulation and surrounding tissues, allowing oxygen to enter damaged hypoxic urothelial tissues. HBO treatment accelerates growth of healthy granulation in injured tissues via stimulation of leukocytic functions including phagocytosis and production of growth factors related to angiogenesis [13,14]. HBO therapy has been used predominantly for chronic radiation cystitis and cyclophosphamide-induced hemorrhage cystitis in the last 20 years [6-9]. Chronic radiation cystitis is characterized by various histological alterations including sub-mucosal hemorrhage, interstitial fibrosis and smooth muscle fibrosis [10], which correspond to classical PBS/IC with ulcerative lesions [11,15]. Therefore, it was hypothesized that HBO could be an effective treatment for PBS/IC with typical histological changes (glomerulations, Hunner's ulcer and interstitial fibrosis). Seven of 11 cases treated with HBO demonstrated a significant decrease in urinary frequency and pelvic pain and an increase in bladder capacity. Cystoscopic examination revealed the scarring or healing phase of ulcerative lesions in all responders. Furthermore, the positive effects on symptoms were sustained for a minimum of 12 months. Van Ophoven et al. carried out a pilot study concerning HBO in six PBS/IC patients [16]. Our group reported that HBO treatment resulted in a marked improvement of severe PBS/IC symptoms in the initial two cases [17]. In addition, van Ophoven's research group reported the effectiveness of HBO for PBS/IC on the basis of a randomized, double-blind, sham controlled clinical study [18]. This study revealed that the scale of pelvic pain in the HBO treatment group was significantly better than in the sham control group, and the amelioration in responders was sustained 12 months after HBO treatment. The results of our study are almost compatible with their report. Interestingly, secondary HBO treatment prolonged the period of remission in two cases (cases 1, 2). Therefore, it is likely that a repeated course of HBO could accelerate the healing phase of ulcerative PBS/IC disease. Three of the four cases that responded poorly to HBO presented with non-ulcerative PBS/IC. Thus, we speculate that ulcerative lesion with the most evident expression of bladder ischemia may be a predictive factor to result in good response to HBO. HBO therapy was well tolerated by patients; adverse events including visual disturbance, eustachian tube dysfunction and claustrophobia were unusual [19]. Furthermore, the advantage of HBO treatment over conventional therapies such as hydrodistension [15], intravesical instillation of dimethyl-sulfoxide (DMSO) [20] and intravesical submucosal injection of Botulinum toxin type A [21,22] is that it is non-invasive.
Conclusions
The long-term efficacy of HBO treatment in 11 PBS/IC patients resistant to other conservative therapies was investigated. Seven of 11 patients, who underwent 10 or 20 sessions of HBO treatment, demonstrated good amelioration of the evaluated parameters including IC symptom score, scale for pain and urgency, 24-hour urinary frequency and bladder volume, for at least one year. Furthermore, two responders with worsening symptoms experienced prolonged improvement after additional HBO treatment sessions. HBO therapy was well tolerated, with few patients developing transient eustachian tube dysfunction and reversible exudative otitis media.
The present study suggests that HBO could be used for the treatment of PBS/IC patients resistant to various conventional therapies.
Emily, 25, Oregon - "I have very painful periods and these pads definitely relieved some pain and discomfort during the day. I've had the symptoms of IC since I was probably a young child and could never get relief. I was finally diagnosed in 2008. I am impressed with the packaging; didn't worry about dirt or bacteria. My energy was so much more positive and I felt comfortable and secure wearing the pads. I wear the pantiliners everyday. I'm so grateful to my boyfriend for encouraging me to order these pads!!!.
Stef, 35, Washington - "I have tried the day pads and LOVE them. I will definitely be ordering some. They are so comfortable. I suffer from pelvic discomfort and my vaginal tissues are so sensitive."
VJ, 40, CA - "I have found using Empower pads have helped lessen the pain that I experienced with severe cramps when my period would arrive. Without Empower pads I would be in my home and not out living and enjoying life to the fullest. Thank you for creating Empower pads! I really feel that they are the best feminine hygiene product on the market."
Empower Pads are a breakthrough in feminine hygiene support. Each non-chlorinated pad has a bio-energetic tourmaline strip for cramp relief, a soft top layer, a breathable polymer backing, and superior absorbency. Tourmaline has become a focus of research at universities and research centers worldwide because of its health benefits, such as improving circulation, relieving stress and increasing mental alertness. Anions increase oxygen, thus inhibiting the growth and multiplication of anaerobic bacteria. For women, this means less unpleasant odors and less incidence of infection.
Common DO's & DON'T's when using sanitary napkins
1. Choose a pad that is made from light, breathable, hypoallergenic materials. Allergens and materials that do not permit airflow in and out often cause skin irritation.
2. Consider the style and size. Try to choose a pad that is appropriate for your body size and type.
3. Look for pad with a high absorption rate that also has the ability to lock in moisture.
4. Always wash your hands before handling pads to avoid bacterial contamination.
5. Do not leave sanitary pads in the bathroom for long periods of time. Moisture may seep into the pad and lead to the growth and multiplication of fungi or bacteria.
6. Avoid scented pads. Perfumes, scents and some chemicals found in pads are well know to cause skin sensitivity and burning, especially for women with sensitive skin and/or vulvodynia. If odor is an issue, change your pads more frequently
"It sounds so obvious and simple, but the hardest thing an IP patient to do is, down deep in your mind,
heart and soul, stop denying that you have a serious, life-shortening, medical condition that will not go
away."
"Your attitude about pain must change. Increased pain hurts you. When the pain flares, your pulse rate
increases, and hormones stored in your adrenal gland flood your system causing further body deterioration,
rusting, and aging.
Therefore, you MUST do whatever it takes to suppress your pain and prevent flare-ups. You simply
want to keep pain as far away and as controlled as possible. Never try to "work through it" or "tough it out" or believe that character and will power will solve your problem."
“The penetration, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.”
To make an informed decision and truly have a choice one must have all of the facts. I absolutely support the idea that women and men see their doctor at regular intervals and discuss their health openly and honestly, which includes doctors informing women of the high false positive rate of pap smears, letting women know that a pelvic exam is not necessarily required every year, and instead of having a blanket requirement that all women need yearly pap and pelvic exams, doctors should customize the yearly exam to fit the needs of each individual. How many more women would go see the gyno more often if they knew that they would only be subjected to testing that was necessary for them personally?
What bothers me the most is the idea that women must be required to see the doctor because they cannot be trusted to take care of their health themselves. The attitude is condescending and disrespectful. While screening for disease is beneficial, it is a choice and women should be trusted to make the decision for themselves.
This is a post written amidst a flare. I will be hateful, politically incorrect, and highly offensive with bad words. This is also a public post because it needs to be heard, or at least, what IC does to a person's mentality.
I hate everyone today. I had to go get blood drawn but had to be driven an hour there and an hour back to the lab. I didn't feel the needle. It went great. I was already in a flare. I've been in once for the past 2 days, but the meds I've been taking made it bearable and I could play games and distract myself. Walking and leave the house is a bad idea. But I had to today.
I brought heating pad with me. Ride there and ride back as okay, but we needed to go to walmart to pick up Kleenex and maybe something edible for me. I find that matching my usual walk fast pace just makes it worse, so I ask James to tiptoe with me as it's the only way I could do it. All the wheelchairs for taken -- by fat women. Fat fucks who, SURPRISE, riding in a wheel chair isn't going to fix that. And these women all seemed chipper. Well of course, they weren't sick. maybe walking just her because they were so fucking fat. Who knows. So I just brave it out.
I get to the cereal aisle and a spasm punches me in the gut. This type of pain is hard to describe. The simplest way is to say imagine the worst bladder infection you've ever had, but no medication will stop the pain. But I'll say it felt like I hadn't urinated for 24 hours beforehand, and this new spasm felt like my bladder was ripping apart. I told James I was out of there. I had to go back to the car, put on the heating pad, and lay down.
I blame it on the fat fucks. If I could have gotten a chair the jostling wouldn't have triggered this. I wish their leg/back pain would kill them, but it won't, so they'll just get fatter and keep using the chairs. This is why I want my own damn wheel chair. This season is destroying me like it always does. Will I graduate this year? I have no idea. If the IC behaves, yes, I will. if not then no, I have to waste yet another year on online courses and another year keeping me away from getting a job I can do online.
I hate all the healthy people. I hear this is common with cancer patients too. I hate them. I despise them and their first world problems that they complain about. I'd trade them.
Do you want to pray for me? Please do. Even though I despise organized religion of any kind, I'm not a scrooge about it. I prayed constantly last year. Deus ex machina didn't happen.
I'm hurting bad. I can't even play with James and it feels like I'm wasting his vacation. I went to bed early last night. I woke up early. It doesn't matter what time of day it is, it will hurt. Until some asshole finally decides to do research on temperature change and chronic illnesses I think we're all fucked. I know my other chronically ill friends are having a hard time this winter too. Something is happening, but no one cares to research it because it brings in no money.
This isn't an infection I don't think because last night I felt pretty normal. The morning/dayti flares are what are destroying me.
I'm taking Valium, soma, elimiron, utira-c, oxybutinin, and benedryl, and even with all this shit still I feel like my bladder is destroying itself.
Now factor in the only thing I can safely eat are mostly tasteless things. Plain rice, some wheat, and if I'm brave then mild cheddar cheese. So I sit watching these fat fucks stuff their mouths with McDonald's breakfast items (which I love and crave) and then watch them scoot on out with the customary Wal-mart scooters and I'm expected not to hate them.
I'm usually not a hateful person, not ever, I don't even hate Hitler, I just want to understand why he did what he did and say it was wrong but from that viewpoint (evidently his mother was impregnated by a rich Jewish guy she worked for, or so the school databases suggest with some evidence such as Hitler turning the graveyard his "dad" was buried in into an artillery range so that everything would be destroyed..) So no, I don't hate him. Not even him.
But now? Today? At this moment? I'm filled with it for everyone. Even those who didn't take the chairs. I suppose it comes with the "why me?" sentiment.
So what now? James won't and can't move to South America every winter. I can't work outside the home unless this goes into remission. And at 26 I am kicked off my step dad's insurance plan. That blood test that I have to do every month costs $140 by itself without insurance. Elmiron costs $500, and I won't even bother looking into the others unless I want to depress myself me. I don't think this thing will go into remission within 3 years.
So what do I do now? The worst part is NO ONE CAN SEE THIS. It is not visible. If I took the chair I'd be glared at. If I accepted my doctor's offer for a handicapped parking spot I'd be glared at. But right now I am handicapped, badly handicapped. No housework will be done today, and my mom won't let me forget.
If my bladder is removed it'll do nothing. It's the muscles triggering it. But they're connected to everything down there and can't be removed.
Will the Republicans pay for my medications? No. Will the Democrats? Maybe, but I'm not so hopeful. I can't get disability because I never had a chance to work because of this. I can get SSI, but when look at me and my age and depending on the day I can look pretty damn healthy I suspect I'll be denied repeatedly. Will my urologist vouch for me? Maybe. But she's already stuck her head out for me by giving me all these pills and I'd hate to put more work on her. In the end I may have to. I guess along with James, Chris, and my other chronically friends she is the only other person I don't hate right now.
So now what? Seriously. Tell me what you would do in this situation. I just want to get my degree and go for a masters. I would love the hell out of being a teacher student. But I can't. I'm crippled, but not crippled enough for the government to help me.
I'm cross posting this everywhere. THIS IS IC AND THIS IS WHAT IT DOES. THIS IS WHY I DON'T VISIT MY FAMILY. THIS IS WHY I CAN'T VISIT MY GRANDMOTHER IN THE HOSPITAL. THIS IS THE REASON MY BOYFRIEND MAY EVENTUALLY BREAK UP WITH ME (though he's been a trooper so far). You can all stop making me feel guilty. Perhaps it'll lessen my hate a little.
