Positive Thinking is Negative

The weather has been steady so I've been fine.. completely normal. I keep a 9 day forecast on my desktop at all times so I can request that day off if there is a cold front.

That aside, I came over an interesting post on Reddit. It was about a guy asking advice about how to make his girlfriend with cancer feel better. The most up-voted comment was along the lines of don't tell her to be positive.

The exact quote was, "Do not, I repeat do not, tell her to keep a positive attitude. Instead, show her that whatever she's feeling (fear, anger, frustration, etc...) is OK and you can handle it.

I recommend this interview and book: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=113758696"

Tonight, after texting my mom for a bit and her telling me to look for a better job with my response being I don't want to burn bridges by getting a great job then flaring so bad I have to quit in the first month, she told me, "don't be negative."

Is predicting something that happened every year for the last three years being negative or just being practical? It may not happen this year (or to be more precise, it could be a mild winter since its already demonstrated that it WILL still flare in cold fronts) and I'll seem healthy.. but that's the problem with invisible illnesses. Next winter I might not be so lucky.. and then what? Is it my fault because I wasn't positive enough? I feel this is a problem with ANY chronic health condition. Saying "stay positive" or "don't be so negative" is like saying, "Stop being a pussy. If you were stronger then you wouldn't be sick."

The thread also discusses how so many friends abandon you when your sick because they don't know how to handle it.. and how its mostly an age thing. It was a really interesting read, so I encourage you to click on the reddit link above since it'll send you straight there.

Toxic Atmospheres

I'm still okay. Only hormones really seem to be hurting me, and it's not crippling. Of course, it's still warm out without major changes in the temperature.

Just thought I'd let the internet know that my mom has figured out what causes IC. You see, I'm in pain during the winter a lot because I don't "Get out enough." That makes a whole lot of sense since the pain keeps me inside-- oh wait..

Even if you're knowledgeable in whatever disease you have, know the cause, it's name, and treatments your family, friends, or perfect strangers will still assume they know more about the disease than you and offer unhelpful, and often, insulting advice.

Internet Friends

My closest friends are miles and states away from me, but we talk everyday through games and Facebook. Some professionals say this in unhealthy, and online friends can never replace real friends, but after a recent catastrophe on Facebook of my family saying I "complain too much" about my pain and I going on a purging spree of those who weren't truly my friends and family members who'll never hear another word from me I realized who my true friends are.

One of them said they got me something for my birthday. I thought it'd be some game item that you pay cash for, usually cheap. I'm like, okay. Well, weeks later a huge box arrived at my door.

What was it?

A wheelchair!

While my community and family dismissed me, my online friends went far and beyond and did what those who should be doing didn't do. My mom gave a away a free chair after I asked for one.

Her reaction to the present? "I made them pity me with all my complaining." Hah. It's a damn good, comfortable, and portable chair that they used amazon gift cards for to get it really cheap. She was extremely annoyed. Said I should send it back. I'm at the point where I've lost all respect for this woman. She has Jackle and Hyde moments. There are times when she brings me IC safe foods in bed, then there are times like those above. I think I broke her bubble of denial. Or perhaps made her feel guilty that it was total strangers (to her) who gave me such a great gift. To you two guys I'm talking about, thanks <3