Mother continues to dismiss my pain. I requested help getting a fold up wheelchair for campus use weeks ago and she said it was stupid, I would only weaken my legs despite me telling her I wasn't going to use it in the house.
After the flare yesterday I've decided that I do NEED one for those days. Bonus points if I can find a battery operated heating pad.
You know what she did? She gave away my Grandmother's scooter to my uncle (which is fine, because I can't load that in my car and he has cancer), BUT the folding wheelchair? She's giving it to some distant relative who's "old."
So I'm not "old" enough in her eyes to use a wheelchair to prevent flares. When I talked to her again, asking for the free wheel chair she said, and I quote, "That's ridiculous."
The hardest part is at the beginning of this she was very supportive. She made food for me when I couldn't leave bed, bought me things I could eat, and paid for my meds. Now? No. Now I'm just making it up because I should be "better" by now. I've been completely dismissed. I'm going to try and get one through insurance. So rather than give me a free one, I have to waste more money.
Stay strong, sister. My family doesn't give 2 shits about my IC either -- especially my mother. I'm not sure why they do this. My mother thinks I have "all these problems" because she smoked when she was pregnant. Of course -- it's all about her, right?
ReplyDeleteThe thing is, and maybe your mom would be this way too, I'm not sure she would even care much if she could SEE my problem. Like, if I had cerebral palsy she'd just say I wasn't sitting up straight or something. Or if I broke a leg -- "You really shouldn't have been skiing."
I don't know why they go into denial. Maybe it's that they either (1) don't want to look at it too hard in case they might be at fault or (2) the typical denial of someone who can't bear to face that a loved one is ill and therefore they might have to do something to help.
Sending you hugs...
As for being the first person to make a comment on my blog I say thanks.
ReplyDeleteAnd thanks for sharing your own problems with your family.. and you're right. I think its a form of denial for them.
My heart aches for you. I have lots of support from my hubby and kids and grandkids (second hubby who knew what I had when I married him.) It is so true that just walking or riding in a car can cause a flare to go out of control! My friend and I went to an amusement park this summer and we rented the "Handicapped Scooters" and had a blast! We were only able to eat, play games and watch the free entertainment, but we had a really good time and weren't in as much pain as we would have been if we would have walked the whole time. It is hard to have a disease people can't see. Hang in there. If you don't mind, I'll pray for you.
ReplyDeleteI don't mind, go right on ahead. Good news is that some internet friends bought me a wheelchair. Boy did that annoy my mom. Hah. They has a lot of unused Amazon giftcards.. got it extremely cheap.
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